This Is Why Men Aren't Moms...

Let me start out by saying I love my husband with all I have....but I swear on all that is Holy, I can't leave him alone to do shit!! * sigh * Let me start at the beginning of my day.

03:00 a.m.- Wake up to feed the baby

06:00 a.m.- Wake up the boy to get ready for school

07:00 a.m.- Get the boy on the bus for school

07:15 a.m.- Make sure the sister is up and getting ready for school

08:00 a.m.- Feed the munchkin and the baby

09:30 a.m.- Start laundry

12:45 p.m.- Feed the munchkin and put the munchkin down for a nap and feed the baby

01:45 p.m.- Leave husband with the children to run errands

03:00 p.m.- Go to Wal*Mart and try to muddle through without killing someone

03:20 p.m.- Pick up the sister from school and start calling husband to no avail

03:45 p.m.- Drop off sister at the orthodontist and continue calling husband while pumping in the car

04:15 p.m.- Pick up my contacts and still call the husband

04:30 p.m.- Head home and continue to call husband

I get home and find the husband sound asleep on the couch, the baby in her playpen screaming at the top of her lungs, and the munchkin was quietly sitting in her crib watching “The Backyardigans”, though she was soaked from wetting herself. The boy was standing at the edge of the baby's playpen trying to comfort her with a bottle he defrosted and bottled himself (so proud of him for that). I asked the boy how long his dad had been asleep, and he told me he was asleep when he got home from school. So at least an hour!! I left the house at 1:45!! He was awake!! So, I got the munchkin cleaned up and changed her sheets. Fed the baby and changed her, and hugged the boy. After waking the husband...violently shaking him awake, I started dinner. The husband had the balls to ask me why I was so pissed off at him...while I am chopping vegetables!! I'm holding a sharp-ass knife and he's gonna ask me why I'm pissed off my children were not looked after while I was gone!! Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me??!!! Needless to say, the night did not end well for my loving, yet forgetful-that-he-has children-and-sleeps-all-afternoon-husband.

I don't ask for much. Just a little help with the housework on occasion and if I leave to do something without my kids...that doesn't happen often...that the man that helped me make the kids, could care for them while I am away. * head to desk *

It's Official!!

 Well it's official. My sweet baby boy has been corrupted. The games...the video games, they took my sweet baby. When he wakes up in the morning, he goes straight to the Wii. When he's not eating, he's on the Wii. When he's not sleeping, he's on the Wii. He just turned 7!! I'm just happy he's addicted to a kick ass game...Super Mario Bros!!

I woke up this morning at 7:30. The rest of the house was sound asleep and what was my boy doing, playing Super Mario Brothers! Working on the Castle kicking some bootay!

I am just glad that he isn't playing something overly violent. No COD, or Fallout...I don't even let him play WoW with me. That's my game, lol. It is nice to be able to get him to go outside for a while without having to fight him too much.  

I'm thinking I can blame not only myself for this, but also my husband. We game A LOT!!! Him more than me. My husband can lose himself in WoW. (World of Warcraft) It's amazing how much the husband can immerse himself in that game. There are a few times, I'm pretty sure he sees his life through the eyes of Blizzard.

I love that we are now able to have awesome competitive family game nights though! And believe it or not, my boy has gotten good at kicking butt on the Nintendo! Hmmm...maybe him playing the Wii around the clock isn't a bad thing after all.

I got stuck with Bebe's Kids...

 What in the gay hell is wrong with kids now days?! My son's birthday was this week and he invited some kids in our neighborhood that live down the street from us to his party. I don't mind that my son has neighborhood friends. I don't mind that he has a place to go or that they have a place to go to play safely. Here's my issue, I can't stand when the kids are rude and disrespectful as hell! I was the only adult at this party. My husband had to go to work, and my kids' adopted grandmother had gone home...it was a trying day to say the least.

There is a little boy that is around 5. My son is trying to open his presents and this little boy jumps in and tears open every gift and package. He wouldn't let my boy to have even the smallest little moment to enjoy getting the gifts he received. So not only did he open the gifts, he BROKE them as well!! What the fuck?! My kid had this gift a total of 3 minutes before this little boy broke his toy! No matter what I said to him, he just wouldn't listen. It was driving me crazy.

The little boy had two sisters...one of them was actually behaving and was sweet as be. She can come by anytime :) The other sister though, rude and loud and again, not listening. I had to threaten to beat everybody in the house because this little girl, who is probably around 10 years old, kept trying to stick her finger in my kid's birthday cake. Keep in mind, this is before we even got a chance to sing “Happy Birthday.” She's old enough to know better. She kept trying to take my 7 month old baby to HER house!! Who the hell does that? I just don't know what was going through these kids' heads.

I want to know what the hell their parents do to teach these kids manners? I guess I should think not a damn thing, since their kids didn't have any fucking manners! If you want your child to be a productive member of society, how about teaching them to listen to the adults. Learn to follow directions, don't talk back. Don't try to kidnap babies, and don't stick your little fingers in my God damn cake!! My two year old knows this, why don't your kids know this? Not one of the kids that came over said “Thanks” or “Please” or “May I?” Are we too busy as parents to teach our kids these things now? Are we depending on everyone else to try to teach common courtesy? I can't tell you how frustrated I was when I was serving these kids dinner and all I heard was “I don't like this....” or “I'm not gonna eat that!” Teach your badass children that when they are over at someone else' house, if they are fed, they eat what is offered. Most parents are not short order chefs.  

Why Are You So Stupid?

 So the other day I had the girlfriend of my husband's best friend say with me while our men did whatever it is the menfolk do when they're drinking beer and working on a car. I have met this girl a few times before, so the fact that I nurse should not have been anything new to her, but no...anytime I nursed the baby this girl flipped the fuck out. Let me tell you all about it!

My husband and I decided to grill out that night since his best friend spent all day helping him work on his car. So off (I'll call her R) R and I went to Wal*Mart. We took both the girls with us so that the men wouldn't have to stop working on the cars and could utilize as much daylight as they could. Well the baby was apparently starving halfway through the trip so I latched her on and continued to shop for our dinner while R pushed my eldest daughter in the cart.  I had been walking around the store nursing for 10 minutes before she even noticed I was nursing!!As soon as R realized I was nursing and nursing in public all the stupid shit just started flowing out her mouth...I swear this bitch said “Are you fucking kidding me” diarrhea of the mouth. “I can not believe you would just whip out you tit and start feeding that baby!!” “This is why bottles were invented” “Why didn't you ask me if I was comfortable with you nursing her while we were shopping?” 

I had to remind myself very quickly that I had to be nice to this person because she is the girlfriend of a great friend. That in itself took a lot of will power. The fact that I didn't slap the stupid of her face surprised the mom that was shopping next to me. Her jaw hit the ground when R started off. So after I politely, yet sternly informed her as to why I was nursing my daughter in the middle of Wal*Mart, I had to walk away for a bit...still nursing by the way. We get home in time to put the food on the grill and cook the sides. After the sides were done cooking, the baby became hungry again, so I sit down and start to nurse her again. AGAIN, R asks me “Do you want me to get you a bottle so you can feed her?” I don't understand how a woman who is 22 years old can say something so stupid. I have to wonder if she even heard the words that were coming out of her mouth. But just in case she really is that dense, I want to make something perfectly clear:

I breast feed my child. I feed her when ever and where ever she is hungry. I do not use bottles when I am with her because I don't need to. If you have a problem with me breast feeding my baby, do me a favor and look away. I don't hold a gun to your head and force you to watch me feed her. I don't care if my baby breast feeding makes you uncomfortable, your face makes me uncomfortable and you don't hear me bitching to you about it, do you?

So, now that I have that off my chest, I can stop being nice to people and just squirt them with my boob juice anytime they have something to say about my breast feeding. Don't believe me? Say something... :)

Is It Really Worth It?

 I would like to know just what it is that people find so important that they must text and drive. I was bringing my daughter home from her grandparents' when all of a sudden two cars slam into each other. My poor baby was scared shitless, but she calmed down as soon as she saw the “pretty car lights” --Police cars. Anyway, after the dust settled, we found out that the driver that did not have the right of way wasn't paying attention because she was texting and driving and drove through the intersection.

This car hit the guy right in front of me. The whole time we were waiting for the cops, all I kept thinking was “what if this asshole hit me? I would be in jail because I would kill a bitch” There is nothing so important via text that you have to respond to while driving. They have hands-free devices for phones. Invest in one. Call the person. OR Pull. The. Fuck. Over!

Let me give you guys some statistics, because you know you want to know. When a driver texts while driving, his reaction time will decrease by 35%. When texting, steering capability goes down by a tremendous amount; 91%. A driver is twenty three times more likely to get into a car accident while driving and texting *Shocker!*. About 13% of adult drivers have surfed the Internet while driving. Younger drivers were more likely to engage in distracted driving. Men were more likely to drive while drowsy, drive after drinking, read a map, use a GPS system, and use the Internet. No wonder men's insurance rates are so damn high!! Let's not forget about the fines...if you are found texting and driving you can spend up to a year in jail and $1500 in fines. Not to mention the lives you could ruin or end. So after just a handful of information out there, why would you risk it?

My Crazy Life Part 2

 After the phone call I received the phone call that my Dad ran away instead of facing his consequences, I was pretty upset. They promised me they would do all they could to bring him justice. So I cooperated with the police through out the years he was gone and while he was in custody. My husband thought it would be a good idea to see a therapist, so that's what I did. For three years I saw a psychologist who helped me deal with it. I honestly don't think I could have made it through all this mentally without her.

My “father” was on the run for 5 years...the Marshals found him in Oklahoma, seriously 2 hours away. My paternal grandmother put her house up for his bond. $75,000!!! His bail was $750k! Now the local prosecutors kept pushing back the court date. I gave them details and they were even able to get evidence of several of the incidents. However, because of his attorneys doing their jobs and saying “prove it” the prosecutors office didn't feel they were able to bring the case to trial. Of course, the fact that I was not getting any kind of justice at all never crossed their mind.

So they put my case on the back burner for a year. They told me if in that year no new evidence was found, they would close the case forever. A year passed and they closed the case. It's pretty accurate to say I'm a bit bitter and upset over the fact that I got screwed by our justice system. To be honest, I didn't think I would win the case, but just to be able to have him held accountable for what he did, and for the world to KNOW what he did would have been enough for me. It is heart breaking to have to go through all that I did and not be able to have any kind of justice from it. All I got was a pat on the shoulder and a “So Sorry we didn't do what you came to us for.”

The one good thing I can say that came out of this is that I no longer feel victimized...pissed off as hell, yes, but no longer victimized. I am now in control of my life and what happens in it, not him.  

My Crazy Life Part 1

In the 25 years I have been alive, I do have to say that most of that was awesome!! I have three of the most beautiful babies that have ever lived and they are my world. I wake up everyday and just can't believe how lucky I am to have them. It took me a few years to even realize how lucky I am to not only have my children, but also the man in my life that helped create them....My husband. Errol has seen me at my worst and at my best. Surprisingly, my worst didn't scare him away, it had the opposite effect. He stuck to me like Krazy Glue.

From the first day we were together, he made me feel so safe. I just knew without even having to think about it that he would forever hold me safely in his arms. And to be honest, those are my favorite place in the whole world to be...in his arms. It was almost 18 months before he knew my darkest secret. I didn't want him to leave me so I kept it to myself until one day while visiting my Mom with our son that I thought my sisters were in danger of the same thing happening. I finally broke and told not only my Mother what had gone on, but also my husband.

For as long as I could remember until I was 17 years old, I was molested and raped by my father. The only reason it stopped when I was 17 was because I left his house and moved in with a friend of mine. Anyway, the weekend I told my family what happened, my father had custody of my younger sisters for the week and was supposed to have them back that Sunday night...when it started getting late, I couldn't sleep and got really nauseated because I just kept thinking he was hurting them as well. He dropped the girls off first thing the next morning and my Mom didn't say two words to him...which was probably the safest thing for her to do. She was so angry and hurt that I don't think she knew what to do. She drove us all back home...Houston to Arkansas...we made great time 7.5 hours. Before we left, she made me call my husband and try to talk to him, but all I could do was cry. He thought I was leaving him, so when we showed at home, he was so relieved. Then, the cops showed up and my Mom made me report what happened to the cops and press charges and get a restraining order since my dad lived in the same area as myself and my family.

The justice system worked very fast at this. Within days I had a permanent restraining order in place and they had a warrant to arrest my father. Unfortunately, because of the restraining order, he had a heads up as to what was going on. So he packed himself, his girlfriend (who is 3 years older than me), and my little brother up and left town the day the warrant was to be executed. The police misesd him by literally 35 minutes.