I Gotta Get Off My Ass Now...

A lot has changed in my house in the last few months. The Sister has gone back to the Hell that is Houston, The Boogie Bear has started walking AND is now up to 4 teeth total! The Boy is in Boy Scouts, The Munchkin is demanding to go to school with her brother and the Husband is still working non-stop.

It took a while for our house to get back to normal once The Sister left, but we are finally a family unit once more. Now, that we are back to normal...or at least as normal as we can be, I felt it was time to work on me! So, a few girlfriends and I have started a weight loss challenge! We are all happy with our curves...cause you know, gotta have curves. We just want to be healthier. We figure if losing a few pounds will get us that, then by all means, let's drop those bitches!! Our fitness challenge is a bit different than most. We aren't just going off of weight loss. We are going off of body percentage lost.

The Husband is also working on changing something about him for the better...he is quitting smoking! For reals this time, not for play play. We get to be cranky together!! Him from not getting a cigarette, me from not getting the deliciousness that is bacon on a regular basis.

Ultimately, we will both be healthier for ourselves and for our family. We worked too hard to have a family, don't want to leave them unnecessarily early.

Now for the hard part. Actually getting off my ass and working out! I'm a broke bitch so a gym membership is out of the question. I do however have a mean ass Wii Fit Board. Thankfully, my baby girls love going to the park with Mommy, so walking the trails with them won't be an issue. My issue comes from this...I have something that is called PCOS * if you deal with infertility, you know what it is, or have at least heard of it before * It stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. My hormones are out of whack and my body doesn't like to ovulate on it's own...simplified definition. But, because of my hormones being out of whack, I have to literally work 3 times harder than the average woman to lose weight. The challenge is going to be fun, but will be a lot of work and I see some frustration as well. 70 pounds is lot of weight to lose!! Here's hoping it all melts off like butter! MMMMMM.....Butter

*shrugs*

So what is it about me that gets people revved up? It's not my calm demeanor under stress, it's not my pretty face or that piece of shit truck I drive. I bet I know...It's the fact that I don't keep my mouth shut. I am not a submissive personality, so if I am unhappy with something, I let you know about it. My sister has the same personality, which I am so happy she does. She unfortunately doesn't know how to convey her dislike of something or someone appropriately. She figures just interrupting people and having an attitude will get her far...which has not.

I have been told that I have some anger toward her, which is true. I hate that she is spoiled rotten and can't shut up long enough to learn something. Here are a few things she should keep in mind if she wishes to survive the next few years...

1. My house, my rules...end of discussion.
2. Just because you don't agree with how I am raising you, doesn't mean jack shit. You don't agree with it because you don't have free reign like you did before.
3. When I'm talking, you don't. I will give you the same courtesy.
4. You are not grown. You don't know what goes on in my marriage or what we talk about...don't pretend you do.
5. You want to feel like you are apart of our family? Stop acting like a little shit and participate in family things. Just because we don't discuss financial with you doesn't mean we don't consider you a part of the family. We opened our home and our hearts to have you up here. Show some fucking gratitude.
6. WEAR AGE APPROPRIATE CLOTHING!!! You are 16. When you are 18 then you can dress like a tramp.
7. If we are discussing you, you don't, I repeat...DO NOT need to know about it until we decide that you do. If you don't like...tough shit.
8. Grades are number 1. If you can't care enough about your education, you will not get far, especially in the field you want to be in.
9. Watch your fucking language when you are talking to me. I will go old school and wash your mouth out with soap!
10. If you don't want to hear what I have to say about something, don't ask the question.

These are just the tip of the ice burg. You may think it's a bit harsh...I don't care. This girl has tugged my chain for the last time. The foot is down and booted up. It will go straight up someone's ass the next time I am tested. And please, don't think it's just her. I have a whole list for the husband as well...he is just as bad as she is. I can not do shit with the sister without the husband sticking up for her. I'm too hard on her. Of course this is someone who chose to give his parents hell just because he could. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but God Damn it...

1. Learn to provide a united front... I can't tell her one thing and then you go and say “I disagree” in front of her. You don't do it with our kids, don't do it with her.
2. Stop taking up for her all the fucking time. She is 16, she doesn't know everything. I don't either, but I sure as hell know a shit ton more than her. Unlike you, I have been a 16 year old girl and KNOW what the fuck she is planning on doing and what she is thinking.
3. If you refuse to do your part, don't do shit. Don't give input, don't offer advice, nothing.

Of course I have already discussed all these things with both of them, but I thought it would be nice for them to have a reference for when they fuck up again.  

They Just Don't Stop!

My kids eat so damn much. It's amazing that I can spend 70 bucks at the grocery store and within the hour it's all gone. I buy enough food for at least 3 days worth of meals, but do they consider that? Of course not.

I can't wait for my kids to go to college and have to provide for themselves. Maybe then, I'll get a few dollars to pay for when they come home to raid my fridge. You know what else? My kids are filthy. Not filthy as in they don't bathe, but in the fact that they can't seem to eat without spilling half of it on themselves. If they go outside, there is a 99.98% chance that grass stains will be involved. I can't tell you how much laundry I do in a week. I am constantly cooking and washing something. I'm that Mom that puts her perfectly clean child in the back seat, drives to destination, goes to take out child, and child is magically covered in chocolate or crumbs that I did not give them.

The husband is just as bad as the kids. He eats like a 15 year old line backer, but then gets heart burn and acid reflux like a 65 year old man. I'm constantly finding grease, food, soda, random stains from God only knows what on his clothes. Gotta love him though. He's only covered in grease from fixing the 115 things that are wrong with my car. He's covered in food from eating my awesome cooking, but the other stuff...all on him. I tell you what though, one of these days very soon...as in next week, most likely on my birthday'...I'm gonna eat all day, dirty up the house, and have someone clean up after me all day. I. Can't. Wait..

That Awkward moment...

...When you sit down to write and all of a sudden, there's nothing there. You draw a blank. You can't think of a single thing to write. It's writer's block and it's a bitch!

Ten minutes ago, I had all sorts of ideas running through my head. Funny ideas, too. Now, I have nothing. Maybe it's Mommy's Brain, brain farts, or the lack of sleep. There's no telling. I was sitting in front of my computer screen hoping something would come out of my fingertips...anything. So after a minute I decided to try something else. I would go about my day and see what happens. So..

1. Change baby
2. Feed baby
3. Yell at The Boy for annoying The Munchkin
4. Wonder if 11 A.M is too early for a mojito, then decide it is and plan on having one when the kids go to bed
5. Poke around in fridge
6. Feed baby again
7. Wake up The Sister
8. Curse at the computer for not giving me ideas
9. Paint my nails
10. Paint the girls' nails
11. Paint the sleeping husband's nails and giggle
12. Decide to take a friend's advice and write about writer's block

It's not fair to have all this awesomeness and not know what to write about. Hopefully, this will be my last writer's block for a while. It sucks. Now, off I go to feed the kids...again. ~New Topic!!~

It Hurts

 I know you all like to laugh, but today is a serious post for me. I don't know if y'all know, but I suffer from depression. I've had it from the time I was a teenager, but never dealt with it until my early twenties when I had to. Before my husband and I started trying to conceive our middle child, we and my mental health providers had a month long deliberation on how well I would be able to return to “normal” after being weaned off my medications. To be honest, I was so happy to be off of them. I felt like a walking zombie. I was more docile, but I wasn't myself. Even my husband could tell I wasn't myself. We just never found the right balance of medications.

Now instead of medicating with pharmaceuticals, I just try to watch my diet and keep a close eye on my emotions. They do run really high every once in a while, and then they get so low. The past week or so has been a low week. A lot of people think that depression is just made up. It's not just that one is really sad. Sadness can be just a part of it, or nothing to do with it at all. Mine comes from anger, stress, and the process of still learning how to mentally cope with those feelings.

I can't tell you how much it hurts. It's not just a mental and emotional pain, it physically hurts! My muscles ache, my stomach is in knots, I get dizzy, nauseated, and a headache. It's almost like I'm suffering from a massive hangover after being beaten to a pulp. I don't want to get out of bed at times...of course I have to because I have 4 children to look after.

I hate when I hit these depression spells. My family doesn't get the Mom/Wife they deserve when I'm in them. I feel like such a bad parent and spouse because I have decided to forgo western medicine to help me deal with it. I just don't feel like myself when I'm on them. All my umph is gone. I wish there was a more mainstream holistic way to help deal with it. I have so much more than just myself I have to worry about when I take something. Everything I ingest, I worry about how it will effect my baby and my milk supply.

I am hoping that one day balancing out our brain chemistry will be much easier than it is now. And it won't take 15 different medications to do so. What I would love to happen would be if more people understood just how much of a pain in the ass depression is. How painful it is. How much it just breaks a person or family down. I wish it could be as easy to walk into a psychologist or psychiatrists office and ask for help as it is to walk into a family physician or chiropractor's office and say “this hurts, please fix it.” Hopefully one day it will be that easy, but until then, I have to try harder to get over this pain.

If you know someone who suffers from depression and is in pain, please don't just brush them off. You'd be surprised how much a simple hug or a “Do you want to talk” will help. And it does. Depression is a real illness...just because you can't see it or even comprehend what someone has to be depressed about, don't make that person feel anymore pain by not believing them.  

Teens and Toddlers!

 Has anyone ever noticed how similar toddlers and teenagers are? You would think that once a child has hit double digits that they would be able to care for themselves and handle their emotions a bit better than their younger counterparts. You would be WRONG.

1.  When a toddler and a teenager are told no, they throw tantrums. Sure the toddler may be throwing themselves on the floor, but the teenager is a bit more subtle...My teen will slam doors, roll her eyes, smack her lips. And she'll do this for days...my toddler, will throw herself on the floor for two minutes and forget what she was mad about.
2. When in a store of any kind, both a toddler and teenager will ask non stop for anything and everything in the store. When told no, they will refer to similarity #1.
3. Anytime you hold a conversation with a toddler or a teenager, someone ends up yelling in your ear. The toddler is yelling because they find it funny as hell to see Mommy squirm from the sound of their high pitched voice and the teenager's iPod is turned up so high, they can't hear themselves think let alone how loud they are speaking to you.
4. Have you ever seen a room after a toddler or a teenager has left it? They usually make such huge messes in such a small amount of time. They are both like tornadoes!! They just whip through a room and rip everything apart!
5. It is amazing how much time a toddler and a teenager can demand. One is always telling you that they want you to see this, and watch them to that. Did you catch your toddler standing on her head? The teenagers demand you take them to the mall, drive them back and forth to their friend's houses, drive them to work, and do to those dreadful parent teacher conferences where you are informed how much your teen has become a pain in their ass.
6. I have never met someone who could eat as much as a toddler or a teenager...It's like they are both bottomless pits! I just don't have enough money to feed the football team that has possessed my toddler AND the teenager at the same time. The rest of us are starving...
7. Have you seen what happens when you let a toddler dress themselves? It's like the whole closet has thrown up all over them. Nothing matches, shoes are mismatched, tiaras are worn, and tights end up over jeans. Something similar happens when a teenager dresses themselves...only instead of the whole closet throwing up on them, they seem to find the smallest, almost non-existent clothing they can find.
8. The hair. The hair. The hair!!! OMG, The HAIR!!! That is all I have to say on that subject.
9. Driving a car with a toddler and teenager is...a challenge. Both want you to turn up their music...You're either jamming out to VeggieTales, or Lil Wayne.
10. Last but not least, neither one, toddler or teenager, listens to a word you have to say. You could tell them both to do something simple. For example, eat all your vegetables or clean your room. The only thing you will get in return is a confused look as to why you are asking them to eat healthily and to pick up after themselves. Try to tell a teenager not to do something because of blah blah blah? They do the opposite. Ever tell the toddler not to touch to stove while it's on because it's hot and they burn themselves anyway? Yup...

So it would seem that the two are one in the same. It seems to me that the only difference between a toddler and a teenager would be that one is taller than the other.  

This Is Why Men Aren't Moms...

Let me start out by saying I love my husband with all I have....but I swear on all that is Holy, I can't leave him alone to do shit!! * sigh * Let me start at the beginning of my day.

03:00 a.m.- Wake up to feed the baby

06:00 a.m.- Wake up the boy to get ready for school

07:00 a.m.- Get the boy on the bus for school

07:15 a.m.- Make sure the sister is up and getting ready for school

08:00 a.m.- Feed the munchkin and the baby

09:30 a.m.- Start laundry

12:45 p.m.- Feed the munchkin and put the munchkin down for a nap and feed the baby

01:45 p.m.- Leave husband with the children to run errands

03:00 p.m.- Go to Wal*Mart and try to muddle through without killing someone

03:20 p.m.- Pick up the sister from school and start calling husband to no avail

03:45 p.m.- Drop off sister at the orthodontist and continue calling husband while pumping in the car

04:15 p.m.- Pick up my contacts and still call the husband

04:30 p.m.- Head home and continue to call husband

I get home and find the husband sound asleep on the couch, the baby in her playpen screaming at the top of her lungs, and the munchkin was quietly sitting in her crib watching “The Backyardigans”, though she was soaked from wetting herself. The boy was standing at the edge of the baby's playpen trying to comfort her with a bottle he defrosted and bottled himself (so proud of him for that). I asked the boy how long his dad had been asleep, and he told me he was asleep when he got home from school. So at least an hour!! I left the house at 1:45!! He was awake!! So, I got the munchkin cleaned up and changed her sheets. Fed the baby and changed her, and hugged the boy. After waking the husband...violently shaking him awake, I started dinner. The husband had the balls to ask me why I was so pissed off at him...while I am chopping vegetables!! I'm holding a sharp-ass knife and he's gonna ask me why I'm pissed off my children were not looked after while I was gone!! Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me??!!! Needless to say, the night did not end well for my loving, yet forgetful-that-he-has children-and-sleeps-all-afternoon-husband.

I don't ask for much. Just a little help with the housework on occasion and if I leave to do something without my kids...that doesn't happen often...that the man that helped me make the kids, could care for them while I am away. * head to desk *