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Thursday, June 5, 2014

Marriage Equality Is A Simple Thing.

I am about to press a button for many. There are many things that I am very passionate about. One of those many things is marriage equality.  I of course am all for it! Who am I to tell someone that they can’t have the same happiness and share their life with the one they love because it makes me uncomfortable? NO ONE. That’s who. Someone else’s marriage and happiness is none of my business. Now, I am going to refute a few reasons why some people are against marriage equality in a moment. First, let me go over my legal marriage as seen in my (not so) great state of Arkansas.

When my husband and I decided to marry each other 7 years ago, we noticed some things on our marriage license we didn't really think about.
1.       It’s a legal document. We had to literally sign a contract between ourselves and the State that
a.       We are not married to anyone else at the time of signing the marriage license, and
b.      We were of sound mind and body when signing the license
2.       It doesn't mention God or a God like deity of any sort anywhere…ever. In fact, a judge married us in a park.

There are so many reasons people decide to marry, it’s impossible to count. There are some that we (“normal” straight people) take for granted.
1.       Death Benefits. No one wants to think about it, but when your loved one passes on, the last thing you want to think about is how to make ends meet. Married couples that have Death Benefits, don’t have to think twice about it.
2.       Hospital visits. Could you imagine being told by your loved one’s family to get out and not be able to support your loved one all because the family doesn’t like your lifestyle? No? Must be nice. There are couples that have been together for years, decades even, that deal with that once one gets sick.
3.       Home ownership. Makes buying and selling a house much easier.
4.       Insurance. Being insured on your spouse’s insurance saves so much money.
5.       Tax incentives. These are just a few
a.       Filing taxes can take less time and expense
b.      Jobless spouse can have an IRA
c.       A married couple can receive greater charitable contribution deductions
Now, there are some people that feel differently than I do on the issue of marriage equality. I personally feel it is not about who can marry who, but a modern civil rights issue. As recently as 47 years ago it was FEDERALLY ILLEGAL for my husband and me to be married and reproduce because our races are different. He is Caucasian, I am African American. I know what you’re thinking…”What?!” “Why?” “How DARE they tell someone they can’t marry another person because of the color of their skin!” “RUDE!” And, you’re right. It was wrong. It is wrong. It was wrong for people to be denied happiness with their loved one because they are different. It was wrong then, it’s wrong now. We have states that are denying some of their citizens rights because they are different. I think they may have forgotten this tiny little thing called The Constitution of the United States. You see, we have a little Amendment. We’ll call it, The 14th Amendment for fun and it states: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or
immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” Hmmmm….Now, I’m no lawyer, yet, but to me, it sounds like the Federal Government pretty much just said, “Hey States, don’t be douches. All your citizens deserve to be treated equally. What you provide for one, provide for all. We did this once already, you lost. You don’t get to pick and choose who eats where, who gets to enjoy some privileges, who gets protection, and who gets to sign legal documents…”

Back to the assholes thoughtful people that have a list as to why they are against marriage equality. I am going to refute each and every one of their reasons, which you can find here.
1.       It IS Marriage. Did they sign a marriage license? Is it issued by a government office? It’s marriage
2.       It does not violate natural law. There are many animals (Which is what man is after all) that have homosexual members.  Here is a list of some just off the top of my head:
a.       Rams
b.      Laysan Albatross
c.       Dolphins
d.      Bonobos
e.      Cock of the Rock
f.        African Lions
g.       Penguins
h.      Giraffes
3.       It does not always deny a child a Mother or a Father. First of all, there are so many single parents in this country alone, I can’t count them. Just because they have two Moms or two Dads, doesn’t mean they are doing harm to the child. There are straight couples that are so harmful to their children, the State has to remove them permanently from their parent’s care. Who is to say in the case of a homosexual couple that, let’s say they have a surrogate that used her own egg, or a sperm donor, doesn’t allow the donor to keep in touch with the child. Or heaven forbid they have other members of their circle that is like family to be a strong Mother or Father figure in the child’s life.
4.       It validates and promotes the homosexual lifestyle. This argument I agree on. Not for the reason you think, but because the “Homosexual Lifestyle” is a normal lifestyle that someone lives and it doesn’t need to be seen as wrong or different than the “Heterosexual Lifestyle”
5.       It turns a Civil Rights issue into a Moral issue. If you don’t like homosexuality, that’s fine. Don’t have homosexual relationships. Being gay is no different than your race, your natural eye color, your natural hair color, or your body shape. You are born being you. Love you. No one has the right to tell another person that because they are who they are, they don’t deserve the same rights and privileges that someone else has because they don’t like that person. That’s called discrimination and we have laws against that.
6.       Families are created all the time. If we were worried about sterile unions, the infertile, *Hi there! Secondary infertility here!* the elderly, and the sterile heterosexuals wouldn’t be able to marry. I am so glad science is on our side for this one. Marriage is not about reproduction. Which, if that is what a couple chooses to do, great, if not, also great! Marriage is about spending your life with the person you love and having that love being recognized by the State.
7.       It does not defeat the States purpose of benefiting marriage.  Homosexual couples still have normal, loving, caring, and moral atmospheres.
8.       It does impose its acceptance to all society. Why shouldn’t it. The State issues marriages to Heterosexual couples all the time and then turns around and issues annulments and divorces to those same couples very quickly. Did you know that about 2% of Homosexual couples divorce as opposed to nearly 50% of Heterosexual couples….makes you think.
9.       It is NOT the cutting edge to sexual revolution. Homosexuality has been around since the beginning of man.
10.   The Christian God or any other that I can find doesn’t care who falls in love with who. Now, if we go by the Christian God, we will learn that His followers are taught that God made everyone. Man is made in his image. If we are made in his image, God’s a little gay too. I don’t see a deity saying “I love you all…except you because you’re gay. Never mind that I made you that way.” It just doesn’t work that way.

So, as you can see, I am all about marriage equality. If you aren’t for it, it’s ok. Just don’t try to cover it with bullshit reasons. Own up to it and say you’re an asshole. It’s cool. But, keep in mind, one day this won’t even be an issue. In 47 years, our Grandchildren will look at this issue and wonder what we were thinking for even having to have this conversation. Homosexuals are people too. They deserve happiness just as much as the next person. Homosexuality is just the tip of the LGBT community. Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves to marry who they want and for that marriage to be recognized. 

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Getting my sexy back!!

Recently The Husband and I decided that we are going to work on ourselves to make ourselves happy. He is going back to school and I am working on getting healthy. I have been going to the gym regularly since February. I found out in January that my cholesterol was less than ideal. I refuse to die young because of something as easily (ha!) done as changing my lifestyle. Now working out is fun for me, I am still working on the eating healthier bit, but I have gotten better. I eat more appropriate portions, I try to eat several times a day, and I drink lots and lots of water.

The other day, a few friends and I decided to start a 30 day challenge with crunches, planks, and the root of all that is evil, squats. I have already started losing some inches, but I have found that some of the skin from 6 pregnancies, lots of bacon, and cake has not been kind to me. It needs some help in toning up. So, here comes the challenge! We are starting on June 1. I will do another post with before and after pics and measurements. The one thing I will leave out will be the number on the scale. Mostly because it doesn't matter. I will be building muscle and that weighs more than fat so even if I were to watch the numbers on the scale, they would most likely go up.

All of my readers are welcome to join! Please keep in mind, this is in no way replacing my gym regiment at all. I will still go to the gym and use the tools there as well as this challenge.

Now that we have the tools we will need to make this challenge effective, I hope we all kick this challenges ass!! I'm ready to get my sexy back, y'all!!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Bad Bitch Polish

So, everyone likes to be a little girly at times. I am no different. I love getting my nails done. Now I can do all the awesome girly stuff with my nails at home!

Image used from Bad Bitch Polish site. "Master of Ceremonies"
Bad Bitch Polishes are all hand mixed, 3 free (Which means: Dibutyl Phthalate (DBD), Formaldehyde, and Toluene free), and many are vegan. They are all made here in the great U.S. of A as well! 
 Please feel free to "Like" their Facebook and take a look of the full Esty Shop to view all of their awesome inventory!
Master or Ceremonies

Now, to the good stuff!
I tried "Master of Ceremonies" for a week. Let me tell y'all, it is awesome!! I love the color. In fact, everyone else loves the color as well. I couldn't keep The Munchkin from asking me to paint her nails every day! 
I have had this polish on for a week and it's only chipped, just barely at that, once. I've been doing all sorts of rough Mommy stuff, working, peeling tape off of things, banging my hands on walls, and doing my hair. This stuff stands tough! 

The application process was super easy. I didn't have any issues with clumping or uneven application. I may have also cheated and
used "The Bitch's" own  tips when applying her product.

With a Base Coat
I have to say, I am in love with Bad Bitch Polish. I will be stocking up on her products and very soon. You can as well! 

After selecting your awesome color(s) of choice, before you check out, use the code SURVIVINGLIFE to get 10% off of your entire purchase! Bad Bitch Polish is also trying to help us #PayItForward and #HelpConnieJo. In addition to the 10% off, she is donating $1 for every bottle sold from now until December 15th when you enter the same code.


Monday, November 18, 2013

Paying It Forward

ConnieJo is a sweet, sweet soul that has fallen on hard times. She is about to lose her home after years of trying to get her life back together. Here's her story, as told by a close friend: Connie is a disabled senior suffering from Lupus, related severe arthritis, circulatory issues, and is also diagnosed 70% deaf. Additionally, she suffers from permanent damage as a result of injuries that occurred during her former abusive marriage. She lives independently with her two 'therapy dogs', Dakota and Cochise, whom she loves dearly and considers her family. Her dogs provide her with emotional companionship, security, and are her 'ears', hearing such things as the doorbell, since she is unable to hear it herself. Prior to becoming disabled a few years ago, Connie was known to be a dedicated hard worker her entire life. She is a very compassionate, kind, caring and giving person. Throughout life she has often sacrificed her own needs for sake of helping family, many friends, and even strangers in need. She was the sole caregiver for her father when he was terminally ill, and cared for her younger brother when he was ill with kidney disease. Prior to his death in 2008, Connie offered to donate one of her kidney's to help her brother, but doctors determined he was not medically eligible for a transplant. She is also an animal lover, and has adopted countless neglected homeless dogs over the years, including 10 year old Dakota and 2 year old Cochise. In early 2009, a traumatic life transition began for Connie. Pshychologically broken, battered, and sick, Connie divorced her spouse after suffering a lengthy history of physical, pychological and financial abuse. The abuses by her former spouse continued after her divorce. She was advised by trauma doctors and legal professionals, to relocate to protect her physical and emotional well being. In late 2010, Connie courageously left behind the place she had known as home for almost 40 years. Along with her two beloved dogs, Connie relocated to Kansas City and began rebuilding a new life free of abuse, torment, and fear. Her former husband destroyed all financial security, so Connie sold a majority of her personal belongings and property to raise enough money so that she could afford to buy an inexpensive, modest, 2 bedroom home in Kansas City that is handicap and wheelchair accessible in a safe senior community. Despite disabling and painful physical challenges, for the past 3 years Connie has been slowly cleaning up the once run down house. She has proudly accomplished transforming a house in to a safe, peaceful, and comfortable 'home sweet home' for herself, Dakota, and Cochise. Connie's only personal source of income is her retirement/disability, which is a fixed income of less than $800.00 monthly. She is unable to supplement her income due to multiple disabilities and healthcare restrictions. Her former husband was court ordered to pay $600.00 monthly into a trust fund for Connie but he has not done so in violation of court orders. Her property taxes and insurance were to be paid from this special needs trust fund. Despite her financial limitations, Connie has frugally managed to pay her home's insurance premiums and for necessary basic home maintenance repairs, but she has not been able to pay her property taxes the past 3 years. She and her two beloved dogs, Dakota and Cochise, face the uncertainty of being homeless as of January 1st, 2014 if the past due property taxes on her home are not paid in full. The state of Missouri appears to have no resources or feasible programs available to help. Jackson County, Missouri has added almost $2,000.00 in penalties and interest on her past due taxes. The county has stated they will continue to charge interest on the unpaid taxes. Due to her fixed income and disabilities, she is unable to obtain a loan to pay her property taxes. She has no family financially able to help her, and all other efforts made to pay the past due taxes have been unsuccessful.
Here she is with two of her friends! 
Hoping for a Christmas miracle, we're now turning to her friends and fellow human beings asking for your help to prevent Connie, Dakota, and Cochise from losing their home. If we can raise $10,000.00, we can pay the past due property taxes, penalty, interest, and pay an additional 2 years home taxes in advance. This plan will allow Connie to live securely in her handicap accessible home another 5 years, at which time her monthly fixed income should increase. At 62 she'll be eligible for additional income through her Social Security, and should then be able to pay her home's property taxes herself. The money raised will be securely deposited in to Connie's trust fund, and the trust will directly pay her property taxes to Jackson County, Missouri. Any additional money raised over our goal of $10,000.00, will also be deposited in to Connie's trust fund to help pay future property taxes, insurances, necessary home repairs, such as if her hot water heater would need replaced, or to provide necessary veterinary care for her beloved dogs. Connie is a very proud humble person, and not the type of person who would ask others for help. Rather, she is the one always helping others, but this time she desperately needs our help, to save her safe and secure handicap accessible home from property tax foreclosure.
ConnieJo on stage with Kid Rock in Kansas City
You guys... it will NOT be that hard to save Connie's life as she knows it if we work together. I have over 150,000 fans on Facebook alone, and if each one donated LESS THAN A DOLLAR, we can give this woman everything she deserves, and more. And what a better way to pay it forward this holiday season than giving to someone who would give to any of you in a heartbeat! There are a few ways you can help: 1. Share this post EVERYWHERE. Facebook, Twitter, wherever you can think of. If you are a blogger I give you full permission to copy parts of this post to put on your own blog. Getting the word out will help more than anything. 2. You can donate via Paypal:
(Note: If this button isn't working, you can send funds via Paypal to You don't have to have a Paypal account to do this. You can do this with a debit or credit card, just like any other online purchase. 3. If you'd prefer to send cash, checks, or money orders via snail mail rather than online, you can send them to:
She is one Die Hard Chiefs fan!
Help for Connie 2816 NW Kingsridge Dr. Blue Springs, MO 64015 Wal-Mart gift cards are also helpful, as her income is limited and this will help her to be able to buy the essentials so that she can save more money to put aside to save her house. We want to help this beautiful woman that has been through so much and has helped others, even when or if that help meant that she went without. She deserves so much and most of all, she deserves to keep the house she worked so hard to make into a home. We can further help ConnieJo by doing some or all of our Christmas shopping in this group on Facebook.
Shop Here!!
  Vendors in this group are donating some or all of their proceeds from these transactions to ConnieJo!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Flynn's Birth Story September 29, 2013

Hi Guys!
As some of y'all know, I was recently knocked the hell up. Well, this weekend, we finally had the baby. I have to be honest with you, it was everything I could have ever imagined! It was my best birth experience ever and I wouldn't change a thing about it...except for maybe how LONG I labored!

Thursday afternoon I started having regular contractions that were 4-5 minutes apart. They were not too strong, but I felt comfortable enough having the husband stay home from work and calling in myself since I've always only labored for 9 hours max. Well, we labored through Thursday night and Friday. Finally, Friday, they were starting to get painful.
A family friend came over. She was present for all of the births of the other 3 kids. Well, almost. She just missed The Boogie Bear's birth, but she was there through the labor. We labored all day Friday. The Gay Husband was even with me and we went out and bought cloth diapers, walked our local downtown square, and walked my neighborhood to work Flynn down into the birth canal because Flynn was so high. I was even streaming some of my labor to some of my online friends so that could still be a part of the birth with us. Nothing happened on Friday and I was just exhausted. So we decided to get some rest. Everyone went home. Saturday came and gone and contractions were only a few per hour. Which was fine with me because my body was just exhausted. The Husband even went to work that night. Saturday night the kids and I go to The Bestie's house and have dinner with her and her family.  After eating an awesome meal and getting 8 hours of solid "Dead to the World" sleep, I awakened Sunday to my water breaking. I woke up The Husband, who had only been asleep for about an hour at that point, to help me to the bathroom so I wouldn't make more of a mess. I cleaned myself up, checked out the fluid to make sure it was clear and odorless, which it was, and got comfortable on the couch. I told The husband to go back to sleep, it would still be a while since the contractions hadn't picked back up. All day long, my contractions were about 10 minutes apart and mild. While I was contracting, and playing with the kids, a friend of mine who was 2 weeks ahead of me (She was 40 weeks and some change into her pregnancy) had her baby that morning. So my online friends and I were basking in the new baby. The contractions were starting to get stronger and I could feel them in my lower belly all the way into my cervix. Still hurt, but just annoying, nothing was screaming "Get Ready!!" yet.
The Husband was scheduled to work that night and he kept asking me if he needed to call in. I was being stubborn and told him to go ahead and go in. I realized that I wasn't in the mood to cook dinner for the kids, so I ordered them pizza to be delivered at 6:15 p.m. The Husband was scheduled in at 5. So he leaves and I realize that the contractions are stronger and more painful! Thankfully, ten minutes after he arrived at work, he decided to call and check on me. I told him to get home within the hour. He was home 20 minutes later. By the time he called me at 5:10 and he was home at 5:30, I had but The Boogie Bear in her play pen in the front room, told The Boy he was in charge of his sisters, put the tv on Netflix for the Kids, and got my ass in the bathtub. Every few minutes, The Boy would check on me while I was in the tub because I sounded like a cow being murdered. After reassuring him I was ok, he would go back in the front room with his sisters. The Husband FINALLY got home at 5:30. He walked into the bathroom and asked me what I needed. I told him to get the birthing pool set up. As he left to do that, I had a giant contraction that just slapped me in the face. I literally SCREAMED for my husband. The Boy runs into the bathroom and asks what's wrong.
 Me: "Where's your dad?" 
The Boy: "He left"
Me: "HE LEFT?!!!"
The Boy: "Yup" 
The Boy goes back in front room with his sisters. A few minutes later, The Husband comes in.
The Husband: "Did he tell you I left?"
Me: "Yes! Where were you?!"
The Husband: "Airing up the pool"
Me: "Don't do that shit again!"
After clearing that up, The Husband finishes with the pool and somewhere in there, the pizza is delivered around 6:10. The Husband gets me out of the tub and walks me to the pool. As we are walking from the bathroom to the pool, through The Boy's room, I feel the urge to push and I start to squat. The Husband won't let me. He keeps telling me I have to make it to the pool. So I get my shit together and make it to the pool. I sit so I can catch my breathe. I rest for about 10 minutes and close my eyes. But I realize I am sweating like a whore in church and ask The Husband to spray cool water from the hose on me, so he does. It felt awesome!! While I'm in my temporary normal state of mind, I tell The Husband to start streaming the birth for my friends online. After that, shit got real!
I had a killer contraction where all I could do was the loud "MMMMOOOOOOAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"  over and over again until it passed. I took a chance and checked myself and Flynn's head was right there! With the next contraction, I got on all fours to push, but my butt wasn't in the water. The Husband kept reminding me to get all the way in the water. He even guided my rear end to the squatting position for me. With the next contraction, Flynn's head was born and the contraction after that, Flynn was completely born! I was so happy and excited that I completely forgot to check the gender! Flynn is a boy!! 
The Boy cut his brother's cord about ten minutes after it stopped pulsating. All three kids were instantly in awe of their new baby brother.

 It was an intense and beautiful birth and I wouldn't change it. Flynn shares a birthday with his Auntie on his father's side and with my online friend's son. 
I love that we not only did a home water birth, but it was unassisted. We were at home the whole time. We weren't on a clock, and we were able to do what was most comfortable for us without fear of inconveniencing someone else. Flynn was born on September 29, 2013 at 6:28 p.m. 6 lbs 7.3 oz and 19 3/4 in long. Very healthy and very happy! 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Stop peeing on the toilet!

Being pregnant, I spend a lot of time in the bathroom. I have to pee every 30 minutes or so.  I have noticed that men and women seem to have very different private bathroom habits. Oh, let me count the ways…

1.       In private or public, men seem to have an issue with peeing IN the toilet. No guys, getting close doesn't count. It’s a pain in the ass when you’re as big as a house and have to pee like a race horse only to pause to clean up someone else’s urine off the seat before sitting, or placing the protective paper on the seat to pee. I’ll tell you like I tell my son. If you feel or know you can’t hit the target when peeing, sit your ass down.  Women, never have that problem. We HAVE to sit, or at least hover to pee so we always hit the target. No muss, no fuss.
2.       This week alone, I have replaced our toilet paper roll 3 times. Every time we run out toilet paper, I replace the roll. The menfolk however, have not mastered this art form yet. Instead, I will find it behind the toilet, sitting on top of the old roll that still on the dispenser, or on the floor next to the toilet…*sigh* Y’all, we women have to wipe EVERY TIME we use the restroom, whether we pee or poop. It’s not hard to replace the roll after you use half of one to wipe your ass. Here's an instructional clip to show you how it's done in case you aren't sure.

3.       Most of us shave. Some shave our bodies (Legs, underarms, crotches, etc) and some shave our faces. If we women can’t get away with leaving our body hair in the bathtub when we shave, men shouldn't
get away with leaving their face hair in the sink when they shave. It sucks going to wash your hands to find that it won’t drain because half of Sasquatch’s hair is in the sink.
4.       I get yelled at all the time because, “I spend too much time showering.” I take the time to get wet, wash my entire body, rinse, do my face, and if I have to, wash my hair. The Husband…jumps in, washes armpits, crotch and ass, and feet, rinses, jumps out. I don’t know if this is all men, but damn! I couldn't take a 5 minute shower if my life depended on it!
5.       I've noticed a lot of toothpaste on my mirror. I couldn't figure out why since both my husband and I are pretty good about not spewing toothpaste while brushing. This morning I noticed where it was coming from. I was watching my son and eldest daughter brush and noticed that The Boy will hold his mouth open and splash while The Munchkin hovers over the sink (Probably due to the fact that she can’t reach the mirror yet). I’m not sure if this is a men V. women habit or a child V. adult habit. Either way, The Boy is the cause for my messy mirrors. 

Monday, March 18, 2013

My Precious

Are you a fan of The Lord of The Rings? Did you ever wonder how a hobbit came to possess The One Ring? Well, here's your chance to win that story on BlueRay!!!

J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic adventure follows the journey of Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an amazing quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo findshimself joining a company of thirteen dwarves led by the legendary warrior, Thorin Oakenshield. Their journey will take them into the Wild; through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins and Orcs, deadly Wargs and Sorcerers. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is coming to Blu-ray & DVD March 19th 2013!
Enter to win The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Blu-Ray/DVD/Ultraviolet Digital Content Combo Pack! (You don't have to have a Blu-Ray player, it comes with a regular DVD.) The giveaway will end on March 30th. It's hosted by My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream and Warner Bros.  
I was not compensated in any way for this giveaway. This blog is not responsible for prize shipment. See the giveaway form for complete terms and conditions.