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Sunday, April 29, 2012

That Awkward moment...

...When you sit down to write and all of a sudden, there's nothing there. You draw a blank. You can't think of a single thing to write. It's writer's block and it's a bitch!

Ten minutes ago, I had all sorts of ideas running through my head. Funny ideas, too. Now, I have nothing. Maybe it's Mommy's Brain, brain farts, or the lack of sleep. There's no telling. I was sitting in front of my computer screen hoping something would come out of my fingertips...anything. So after a minute I decided to try something else. I would go about my day and see what happens. So..

  1. Change baby
  2. Feed baby
  3. Yell at The Boy for annoying The Munchkin
  4. Wonder if 11 A.M is too early for a mojito, then decide it is and plan on having one when the kids go to bed
  5. Poke around in fridge
  6. Feed baby again
  7. Wake up The Sister
  8. Curse at the computer for not giving me ideas
  9. Paint my nails
  10. Paint the girls' nails
  11. Paint the sleeping husband's nails and giggle
  12. Decide to take a friend's advice and write about writer's block

It's not fair to have all this awesomeness and not know what to write about. Hopefully, this will be my last writer's block for a while. It sucks. Now, off I go to feed the kids...again. ~New Topic!!~

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

It Hurts

 I know you all like to laugh, but today is a serious post for me. I don't know if y'all know, but I suffer from depression. I've had it from the time I was a teenager, but never dealt with it until my early twenties when I had to. Before my husband and I started trying to conceive our middle child, we and my mental health providers had a month long deliberation on how well I would be able to return to “normal” after being weaned off my medications. To be honest, I was so happy to be off of them. I felt like a walking zombie. I was more docile, but I wasn't myself. Even my husband could tell I wasn't myself. We just never found the right balance of medications.

Now instead of medicating with pharmaceuticals, I just try to watch my diet and keep a close eye on my emotions. They do run really high every once in a while, and then they get so low. The past week or so has been a low week. A lot of people think that depression is just made up. It's not just that one is really sad. Sadness can be just a part of it, or nothing to do with it at all. Mine comes from anger, stress, and the process of still learning how to mentally cope with those feelings.

I can't tell you how much it hurts. It's not just a mental and emotional pain, it physically hurts! My muscles ache, my stomach is in knots, I get dizzy, nauseated, and a headache. It's almost like I'm suffering from a massive hangover after being beaten to a pulp. I don't want to get out of bed at times...of course I have to because I have 4 children to look after.

I hate when I hit these depression spells. My family doesn't get the Mom/Wife they deserve when I'm in them. I feel like such a bad parent and spouse because I have decided to forgo western medicine to help me deal with it. I just don't feel like myself when I'm on them. All my umph is gone. I wish there was a more mainstream holistic way to help deal with it. I have so much more than just myself I have to worry about when I take something. Everything I ingest, I worry about how it will effect my baby and my milk supply.

I am hoping that one day balancing out our brain chemistry will be much easier than it is now. And it won't take 15 different medications to do so. What I would love to happen would be if more people understood just how much of a pain in the ass depression is. How painful it is. How much it just breaks a person or family down. I wish it could be as easy to walk into a psychologist or psychiatrists office and ask for help as it is to walk into a family physician or chiropractor's office and say “this hurts, please fix it.” Hopefully one day it will be that easy, but until then, I have to try harder to get over this pain.

If you know someone who suffers from depression and is in pain, please don't just brush them off. You'd be surprised how much a simple hug or a “Do you want to talk” will help. And it does. Depression is a real illness...just because you can't see it or even comprehend what someone has to be depressed about, don't make that person feel anymore pain by not believing them.  

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Teens and Toddlers!

 Has anyone ever noticed how similar toddlers and teenagers are? You would think that once a child has hit double digits that they would be able to care for themselves and handle their emotions a bit better than their younger counterparts. You would be WRONG.
  1.  When a toddler and a teenager are told no, they throw tantrums. Sure the toddler may be throwing themselves on the floor, but the teenager is a bit more subtle...My teen will slam doors, roll her eyes, smack her lips. And she'll do this for toddler, will throw herself on the floor for two minutes and forget what she was mad about.
  2. When in a store of any kind, both a toddler and teenager will ask non stop for anything and everything in the store. When told no, they will refer to similarity #1.
  3. Anytime you hold a conversation with a toddler or a teenager, someone ends up yelling in your ear. The toddler is yelling because they find it funny as hell to see Mommy squirm from the sound of their high pitched voice and the teenager's iPod is turned up so high, they can't hear themselves think let alone how loud they are speaking to you.
  4. Have you ever seen a room after a toddler or a teenager has left it? They usually make such huge messes in such a small amount of time. They are both like tornadoes!! They just whip through a room and rip everything apart!
  5. It is amazing how much time a toddler and a teenager can demand. One is always telling you that they want you to see this, and watch them to that. Did you catch your toddler standing on her head? The teenagers demand you take them to the mall, drive them back and forth to their friend's houses, drive them to work, and do to those dreadful parent teacher conferences where you are informed how much your teen has become a pain in their ass.
  6. I have never met someone who could eat as much as a toddler or a teenager...It's like they are both bottomless pits! I just don't have enough money to feed the football team that has possessed my toddler AND the teenager at the same time. The rest of us are starving...
  7. Have you seen what happens when you let a toddler dress themselves? It's like the whole closet has thrown up all over them. Nothing matches, shoes are mismatched, tiaras are worn, and tights end up over jeans. Something similar happens when a teenager dresses themselves...only instead of the whole closet throwing up on them, they seem to find the smallest, almost non-existent clothing they can find.
  8. The hair. The hair. The hair!!! OMG, The HAIR!!! That is all I have to say on that subject.
  9. Driving a car with a toddler and teenager is...a challenge. Both want you to turn up their music...You're either jamming out to VeggieTales, or Lil Wayne.
  10. Last but not least, neither one, toddler or teenager, listens to a word you have to say. You could tell them both to do something simple. For example, eat all your vegetables or clean your room. The only thing you will get in return is a confused look as to why you are asking them to eat healthily and to pick up after themselves. Try to tell a teenager not to do something because of blah blah blah? They do the opposite. Ever tell the toddler not to touch to stove while it's on because it's hot and they burn themselves anyway? Yup...

So it would seem that the two are one in the same. It seems to me that the only difference between a toddler and a teenager would be that one is taller than the other.