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Thursday, June 5, 2014

Marriage Equality Is A Simple Thing.

I am about to press a button for many. There are many things that I am very passionate about. One of those many things is marriage equality.  I of course am all for it! Who am I to tell someone that they can’t have the same happiness and share their life with the one they love because it makes me uncomfortable? NO ONE. That’s who. Someone else’s marriage and happiness is none of my business. Now, I am going to refute a few reasons why some people are against marriage equality in a moment. First, let me go over my legal marriage as seen in my (not so) great state of Arkansas.

When my husband and I decided to marry each other 7 years ago, we noticed some things on our marriage license we didn't really think about.
1.       It’s a legal document. We had to literally sign a contract between ourselves and the State that
a.       We are not married to anyone else at the time of signing the marriage license, and
b.      We were of sound mind and body when signing the license
2.       It doesn't mention God or a God like deity of any sort anywhere…ever. In fact, a judge married us in a park.


There are so many reasons people decide to marry, it’s impossible to count. There are some that we (“normal” straight people) take for granted.
1.       Death Benefits. No one wants to think about it, but when your loved one passes on, the last thing you want to think about is how to make ends meet. Married couples that have Death Benefits, don’t have to think twice about it.
2.       Hospital visits. Could you imagine being told by your loved one’s family to get out and not be able to support your loved one all because the family doesn’t like your lifestyle? No? Must be nice. There are couples that have been together for years, decades even, that deal with that once one gets sick.
3.       Home ownership. Makes buying and selling a house much easier.
4.       Insurance. Being insured on your spouse’s insurance saves so much money.
5.       Tax incentives. These are just a few
a.       Filing taxes can take less time and expense
b.      Jobless spouse can have an IRA
c.       A married couple can receive greater charitable contribution deductions
Now, there are some people that feel differently than I do on the issue of marriage equality. I personally feel it is not about who can marry who, but a modern civil rights issue. As recently as 47 years ago it was FEDERALLY ILLEGAL for my husband and me to be married and reproduce because our races are different. He is Caucasian, I am African American. I know what you’re thinking…”What?!” “Why?” “How DARE they tell someone they can’t marry another person because of the color of their skin!” “RUDE!” And, you’re right. It was wrong. It is wrong. It was wrong for people to be denied happiness with their loved one because they are different. It was wrong then, it’s wrong now. We have states that are denying some of their citizens rights because they are different. I think they may have forgotten this tiny little thing called The Constitution of the United States. You see, we have a little Amendment. We’ll call it, The 14th Amendment for fun and it states: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or
immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” Hmmmm….Now, I’m no lawyer, yet, but to me, it sounds like the Federal Government pretty much just said, “Hey States, don’t be douches. All your citizens deserve to be treated equally. What you provide for one, provide for all. We did this once already, you lost. You don’t get to pick and choose who eats where, who gets to enjoy some privileges, who gets protection, and who gets to sign legal documents…”


Back to the assholes thoughtful people that have a list as to why they are against marriage equality. I am going to refute each and every one of their reasons, which you can find here.
1.       It IS Marriage. Did they sign a marriage license? Is it issued by a government office? It’s marriage
2.       It does not violate natural law. There are many animals (Which is what man is after all) that have homosexual members.  Here is a list of some just off the top of my head:
a.       Rams
b.      Laysan Albatross
c.       Dolphins
d.      Bonobos
e.      Cock of the Rock
f.        African Lions
g.       Penguins
h.      Giraffes
3.       It does not always deny a child a Mother or a Father. First of all, there are so many single parents in this country alone, I can’t count them. Just because they have two Moms or two Dads, doesn’t mean they are doing harm to the child. There are straight couples that are so harmful to their children, the State has to remove them permanently from their parent’s care. Who is to say in the case of a homosexual couple that, let’s say they have a surrogate that used her own egg, or a sperm donor, doesn’t allow the donor to keep in touch with the child. Or heaven forbid they have other members of their circle that is like family to be a strong Mother or Father figure in the child’s life.
4.       It validates and promotes the homosexual lifestyle. This argument I agree on. Not for the reason you think, but because the “Homosexual Lifestyle” is a normal lifestyle that someone lives and it doesn’t need to be seen as wrong or different than the “Heterosexual Lifestyle”
5.       It turns a Civil Rights issue into a Moral issue. If you don’t like homosexuality, that’s fine. Don’t have homosexual relationships. Being gay is no different than your race, your natural eye color, your natural hair color, or your body shape. You are born being you. Love you. No one has the right to tell another person that because they are who they are, they don’t deserve the same rights and privileges that someone else has because they don’t like that person. That’s called discrimination and we have laws against that.
6.       Families are created all the time. If we were worried about sterile unions, the infertile, *Hi there! Secondary infertility here!* the elderly, and the sterile heterosexuals wouldn’t be able to marry. I am so glad science is on our side for this one. Marriage is not about reproduction. Which, if that is what a couple chooses to do, great, if not, also great! Marriage is about spending your life with the person you love and having that love being recognized by the State.
7.       It does not defeat the States purpose of benefiting marriage.  Homosexual couples still have normal, loving, caring, and moral atmospheres.
8.       It does impose its acceptance to all society. Why shouldn’t it. The State issues marriages to Heterosexual couples all the time and then turns around and issues annulments and divorces to those same couples very quickly. Did you know that about 2% of Homosexual couples divorce as opposed to nearly 50% of Heterosexual couples….makes you think.
9.       It is NOT the cutting edge to sexual revolution. Homosexuality has been around since the beginning of man.
10.   The Christian God or any other that I can find doesn’t care who falls in love with who. Now, if we go by the Christian God, we will learn that His followers are taught that God made everyone. Man is made in his image. If we are made in his image, God’s a little gay too. I don’t see a deity saying “I love you all…except you because you’re gay. Never mind that I made you that way.” It just doesn’t work that way.

So, as you can see, I am all about marriage equality. If you aren’t for it, it’s ok. Just don’t try to cover it with bullshit reasons. Own up to it and say you’re an asshole. It’s cool. But, keep in mind, one day this won’t even be an issue. In 47 years, our Grandchildren will look at this issue and wonder what we were thinking for even having to have this conversation. Homosexuals are people too. They deserve happiness just as much as the next person. Homosexuality is just the tip of the LGBT community. Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves to marry who they want and for that marriage to be recognized. 

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